funny

ELEVEN years?! Really?

So yeah. As of January 21, 2017 I’ll have been blogging for 11 years. That’s an accomplishment of some kind………?

I know posts have been quite sporadic the last 3 years – I do apologize. Without going into great personal detail, the last three years have been quite difficult and I certainly could have shared lots & lots more….I decided not to do that. Because to me, whinge-ing is more like funny complaining, which I believe is my God-given natural talent. Sharing woes is best done with one’s closest friends perhaps or family or most definitely one’s therapist (shoutout to Dr. F. P.!!). BTW, if you enjoy comedic whingeing, you might enjoy the BBC tv series “One Foot In the Grave” – I’m certainly not up to Victor’s level!

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I’d never planned to go on so long – certainly I cannot say that I’ve had a huge following…..but still, plugging away at anything for such a time tends to improve skill….

I believe I have gained some skill in writing, and creating the posts for the most part has been joyful. But wow, even I’m shocked it’s been 11 years.

I’ve also considered closing it down…..but as it costs me very little other than time and brain power, I’ve decided to keep going, however infrequently.

I hope to blog more consistently about knitting in 2017, God willing.

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Thanks to everyone who’s ever read this blog and enjoyed it. 🙂


P.S. You can still read my very first post here.    The 1st Knitting and Whinge-ing post

 

What a summer/what a bummer and What’s for dinner? (part 2 -long)

bummer_vacation

 

(Click here for Part 1)

What’s For Dinner?

I make some really yummy things to eat, even now that I am a diabetic and have changed my eating habits so that I can keep my fingers and toes and such. But overall, I’m just an OK cook. My Dad and my brothers are people who really love to cook, they really show their love to others through their cooking. My Dad wakes up every day thinking about what he and Mom are gonna eat for dinner, which – given that my mother takes a fair amount of time & caffeine to really “wake up”- has led to 50 years of him accosting her most every morning, right when she gets up, and demanding to know what she wants for dinner, which leads to a very blank and confused expression on her face that I find pretty hilarious these days.

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Of course, Mom’s not wearing the hat or the beard…..

Now I might wake up thinking of food, but it’s a completed dish I’m thinking of, preferably one that could be conjured up and served immediately by the chef/butler we do not have. Since I’m the one who does the VAST majority of cooking around here, I have tried many different ways to make the decision of what we will eat easier, and some of them have helped. I admit that we go out to eat way too often, mainly because I just don’t wanna cook much at all anymore.  One of the things that has helped a bit has been subscribing to Blue Apron** for one week a month. Since I’ve been sick or gone so much this summer, I have not been eating the way I want to and need to, and we aren’t sitting down to dinner  together nearly as often. Fresh things are going bad in the fridge, mainly ‘cos I forget that I bought them. And there’s loads of things in the pantry that should be eaten as well. I’ve fallen into a very lazy & unthinking pattern about dinners around here that is not only costly to my wallet, but to my health. So here is my latest attempt to change this downward spiral & act like an adult-

whatsfordinner

 

If you click on the picture, you can see it better. I’m just happy to have a reminder of what’s going on foodwise each day. Studmuffin would rather eat chicken than almost anything else on the planet, ‘cept maybe chocolate ice cream, so that’s why there’s so many “Chicken Somethings” in the plan.  I have a lot of cookbooks, for someone who’s meh about cooking, so I put in “Use a cookbook” in hopes that I might try something new; it could happen. My favorite innovation here *has* to be “Pantry Roulette” – go into the pantry and see what interesting thing could be made from what’s there and the older the better. Please feel free to try this out yerself, or put in the comments how you deal with the daily grind of ‘what’s for dinner?’ BTW, it’s Crockpot Chicken Teryaki tonight. See? Workin’ already.

____

** If you don’t know what Blue Apron is, go to the website and check it out. I have some free meals from them to give away; let me know if you want to try Blue Apron in the comments section and if you live in the USA, I’ll send them your way.

Some Actual Good Things this summer

Singing with the band Kaleidoscope & becoming a much better keyboard player because the fellas let me play more and more, singing with One Human Family Workshop choir twice, been married to Studmuffin for TWENTY-EIGHT years, traveling to Dayton with Studmuffin, traveling to WV for the Studmuffin family reunion, the Force of Nature graduated from high school – in the top twenty of her class, taking the Force of Nature to Marion Military Institute for college, the Duke of Curl spent part of the summer working in Colorado, he came home and now is in school AND has a job, paid off a fairly large loan, going to Birmingham several times for Baha’i Ruhi Institute training, YARN! FABRIC!……there’s been good things, many good things.

THE END:A Real Grievance

The day after I wrote the previous post (The Gardening groove…) on this here blog, June 1st, my beloved dog Boris suddenly died. His sister Natasha has been ill/dying with a chronic parasitic infection for the last 3 years and we thought for certain, she would be gone first. We know their deaths are coming – they are 13 or 14 years old, and for their kind of dog to make it past 15 is quite rare, so we know it is gonna happen within the next 2 years certainly. Natasha, whom I have nicknamed “the Crypt Keeper” because she looks so bad – patchy fur, flaking skin and so skinny – is still living and quite happy. She gets all the treats now.

I has a sad....

I has a sad….

I think he ate something he shouldn’t have – probably some poisonous vegetation. He always loved to eat leaves and green things. I planted zinnias every year, not because I’m fond of them, but because Boris loved to nibble the leaves so much. Others have told me that Labradors tend to get stomach cancer and that is possible, too.  I did not realize just how sick he was until about 2 hours before he passed away; I spent about 5 or 6 hours that day driving the Duke of Curl to and from his dr.’s appointment in Birmingham; I would not have done that had I known that Boris was dying. We buried him next to Bluto^^ that night, and a week later I planted zinnias on his grave.

We won’t be getting another dog while Natasha lives; she’s elderly and sick, but she was the less dependent of the 2 and I think adjusting to a new dog would be hard on her. I will rescue more dogs after she’s gone, mainly because of this video: Shy Shelter Dog gets Adopted. But it will be a while. Emmy the cat was sick this last week with a bad cold and it brought it all back.

Boris was the dog of my heart and life is really not the same without him for me. I am reminded of him everywhere in our house and yard and all the streets nearby. It’s been nearly four months and I’m still grieving, which of course, I have mixed feelings about. There are so many terrible things happening in the world all over, and I’m crying about a dog. A dog who had a seriously wonderful life, who I was privileged to have in my family since he and Tasha were 4 months old. All I can say is that grief is the price of love and buddy, your death is costing me a fortune. You were the BEST dog for me and none of us will ever forget you. Thank you Borisman.

boriscollage


^^Bluto adopted us in the early Summer 1997 (est. 3 yrs old) – died January 7, 2010

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What a summer/what a bummer and what’s for dinner? (part 1 -long post)

bummer_vacation

This has been one for the books. So let’s jump right into the whingeing, shall I?

Illness

So I’ve spent a fair bit of time this summer being sick and recovering from being sick. The only reason I’ve time to write today is because I have a cold and I don’t wanna give it to others, so I can’t go and do things, but I’m not so sick I’m gonna stay in bed all day. Studmuffin has had this cold far worse than I – I think I’ll be fine by Friday.

cattoungue

feeling yucky….

No, the mostest, worstest sickness I got was for about the first 2 weeks of August. High fever, then mega-chills, all over aches – I mean even my eyelashes hurt when I blinked. And I could not sleep for more than 30 mins to a hour at a time for nearly 2 weeks. I even went to the doctor, knowing that he probably could not help – it was a virus I was certain- but if it was one of the ‘named’ viruses*, I could be at least a public health statistic. But no dice – no help and an un-named virus, but he still took my co-pay (which has gone up about 30%) and suggested I come back in a few days if I was still sick. HAH!  I really considered going to the hospital, but then I remembered 2 things: I never get any rest in the hospital -someone always wants to ask you something or stick a needle into you the moment you’ve dropped off to sleep, and hospital stays are very expensive.

A friend from the next town over was in the process of dying, and I had previously promised his wife that I would sing at his funeral. He passed away & I was too sick to even go to the funeral, much less sing.  This is something I will regret for the rest of my life. Though I am very thankful that Studmuffin went in my place. No, he did not sing.

I lost 15 lbs. in 12 days I was so sick. I cannot ever remember feeling worse….and I was sick for all 9 months of my last pregnancy!

____

*Zika, Swine, H1N1,Bird, Spanish,Influenza and so on

bummerdwight

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New post – old project

Ok so I lost my mind during March, maybe several times. It’s been an odd time for me – everything’s ok in general, but I’m not feeling normal… I’ve done almost nothing abut gardening which is SO UNLIKE ME.  SOmething’s up, but I dunno what it is.

There is almost no knitting getting done, so I thought I’d share a sewing project I did quite some time ago.

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Happy Hallowe’en….sort of…..

So I love Hallowe’en; I know yer shocked.  I love it SO much that I’m one of the few who still bother to put in the apostrophe in it, which believe you me, SpellCheck simply loathes. Anyway, this is the first year in more than 20 that I haven’t had a kid dressing up to go Trick or Treat-ing. All my progeny are too old! But there were still a few preparations to be done:

  • last night I did my annual Hallowe’en Blues show on WJAB.  During this football season, the first 1/2 hour of my show is now a sports talk show. I know it is of limited duration; I’m really missing that 1/2 hour & never so much as last night.

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A little something for Friday & October birthdays

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I say- whilst listening to some pretty amazing Austrian yodeling on Spotify: “Someday, before I die, I’m gonna learn how to yodel.”

The Duke of Curl (sitting nearby at the kids’ ‘puter): “It’s not that hard.”

Me: “Really?!  Can you do it?”

Him: “No.”

Me: “Then how do you know it isn’t hard?”

Him: “If you can teach it to hillbillies, it can’t be that hard…”

Amish_Outhouse

 He has taught himself how to do Tibetan throat singing. WONDERFULLY weird.

I come from a long line of Northern hillbillies, known as “townies”, and even though he doesn’t like it when I say so in this context, Studmuffin’s family is from West Virginia, he himself was born in WV and his parents are first cousins by marriage. Plus we have had – for months – a non-working car in the yard. It isn’t up on blocks, though…..


My little knitting group hasn’t been meeting regularly, but  3/4ths of the group did get out this past week and it was lovely to see them.  One of the the 2 ladies with the same first name, who now has the blog nickname of “SaTwo”, was delighted to show me a “yarn crime”, reminding me in the process that it’s been AGES since I did a yarn crime post. Duly noted and I’ll get right on it…perhaps for Hallowe’en or sometime in November…..  Here’s what she showed me:

yarncrimeOct2 yarncrimeOctdrawn

I drew the black marks -fyi.  I love this designer most of the time, but this time…..no. Just no.  I asked the Duke of Curl for a caption, he said, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….. sick boots.”

Have a lovely weekend and very happy birthdays going out to ALL the friends and family having October birthdays. 🙂

 

A quick note about my mobility

So this nearly 30 year-old sports injury has reasserted itself as of February, when the combination of more regular exercise (great for blood glucose control) and converting the ‘puter from a “sitting” location to a “standing” one (to get MORE exercise) combined to make life more challenging…. The new ‘puter arrangement was *great* for a day & a half, then my right ankle started to hurt a LOT. I have same difficulty with both ankles and I *know* what to do – put on an elastic bandage and give it some TLC & it should be OK in a day…..

Not my ankle…..

No such luck and to shorten the story, most days I am using a cane to assist my walking. I don’t have to have the cane to get around per se but I have less pain if I use it consistently.  Getting around is WAY more difficult & I’ll tell more about what’s wrong in a later post perhaps, but in the meantime I wanted to share a catchphrase Studmuffin & I have been using daily that makes us laugh: “I’m disabled” said in an Irish accent. Why is this funny? Below are a couple of video clips that explain it.

Here’s the set up: The IT Crowd, a British comedy about Roy & Moss, two very geeky computer guys who work in the basement of Reynholm Corp., with Jen, their manager, who knows nada about computers. Here, the trio are at a theatre show (titled “GAY!”) and Roy (white) & Moss (black) need to use the facilities. It helps to know that the old style toilets in England had the tank up near the ceiling & you’d pull on the dangling chain to flush.

Part Two

The awkwardness just goes on & on….  If you think these are funny, I heartily recommend seeing the whole episode.

 

Arrested Development

I don’t watch much tv, but some years ago, Studmuffin got the 3 seasons of Arrested Development on DVD. I **really** wasn’t gonna watch it, but I kept hearing the funniest dialogue…. I did get hooked in spite of myself.

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So now, years later, the belated fourth season is available on Netflix, and I’ve been watching an epidsode or 2 after dinner when the schedule allows. They have had LOADS of the famous in cameo roles – it’s hilarious and awkward and wonderful and I’m really enjoying it.

Tonight’s episode had Tommy Tune in it. I love him. I only realized after looking him up on Wikipedia that he was born the *same* year as my *DAD*. I hope you have a chance to see all the seasons of Arrested Development. 🙂

Here’s some bonus Tommy Tune for you:

I found one!

lady_with_binoculars_card-p137162167504321023envwi_400Remember the last post? Where I said I hoped to type in some of the “old” letters? As I was looking for something else, I found the last one that Studmuffin & I wrote together and it’s already on the ‘puter. It’s from Winter 2004/2005 so I wasn’t exactly right about it being ten years since the last one….. However I do think it’s pretty funny and most of the names have been changed…because that’s how I roll. Fun to see some of the differences over the years….

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Happy post-holiday greetings.

(NOTICE to the ACLU: There will be no mention of Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice, New Year’s or Festivus at all in this letter beyond that which you’ve already read.).  I guess it’s still OK to say “Happy Groundhog Day”, so-

“Happy Groundhog Day!”

We hope that this letter finds you happy and healthy, or at least on an even keel with your nose above water enough so that this letter doesn’t push you over the brink of despair at the pointlessness of existence that this letter all too painfully illuminates.  On to the follies…..

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Belated AND unfinished! What more can you ask for?

So, um, yeah!  It’s January 29th, so:

Years ago, my husband (with a little bit of help from me) wrote some Christmas/New Year’s letters that were, quite frankly, hilarious. They came about in response to the “shiny & glowing” letters we receive from various people during the holidays – we knew we weren’t accomplishing very much! – and also because I was getting tired of writing the same things again & again in more than a hundred Christmas cards.

One of my sisters-in-law kept them all and gave them back to me a few years ago; I’ve hoped to post them here but I’m such a s-l-o-w typist that hasn’t yet happened. It could happen….

The last funny letter came out right around ten years ago as email became widespread for North Americans – no more spending $ to print and mail them to everyone – and the letters stopped.  I cannot really explain why they stopped since I don’t really understand it myself – it’s really a Studmuffin thing and I’ll leave it like that.

This year I wanted to do one so I started started writing one during the last 2 weeks of December and didn’t finish it. SURPRISE!  I know you’re shocked….Oh, I had hoped to finish it with Studmuffin’s help but no dice. He straight up REFUSED to have anything to do with it (which is really too bad because he’s WAY funnier than I am).  Still, I think what I have so far is somewhat amusing and since y’all are being so patient with me while my writing mojo has been almost completely devoured by “the book” I thought y’all deserved to read it.  Also ‘cos I want to trash the sticky note reminder about the silly thing since we’re already at the end of January 2013.  Kill two birds, eh? I hope you like.

*******************************************************************

Mele Kaliki makaa everybody! And Hyvää Uutta Vuotta!

The end of the Mayan calendar proved to be such a non-event on December 20th, that we thought it was time to start some NEW doomsday rumors – HEY Y’ALL The WORLD is ENDING!  How do I know? The reappearance of the helenkosings family letter.  Are you frightened?  Stocking up on canned goods yet?  Just checking…. (more…)

Thankful that you still come by to read!

I’m from New Hampshire…and I’m really glad I live in Alabama today : seventy five degrees warm!

On Thanksgiving, I usually take a moment to think a bit about the pilgrims and the Native Americans in Massachusetts….it must have been blooody cold!

During dinner, somebody made reference to my smidgen of Iroquois blood. It surprised me because it hardly ever comes up at all down here. I only know that my Indian ancestress was my great-great-grandmother – not ever her name has come down to us. For so long, it was considered somehow shameful to be “white” and have Indian heritage……so that by the time it wasn’t seen as shameful, no one knew anything.  I heard from my mother that maybe a particular great aunt might know something, but by the time I asked her about 25 years ago, she said she didn’t know anything (or perhaps did not want to tell what she knew……..).

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A digression – Project Runway’s 10th season – #long!

I believe I have said before that I don’t watch much tv.  It’s true – I don’t, but it isn’t because I don’t love tv or that I have some high falutin’ moral opposition or feeling against it – ‘cos I don’t. I have learned so much & seen so many things, heck that’s how I learned to READ.  I *do* feel it is a huge time waster, the commercials are often racist, sexist, materialist, ageist and create desire for stuff I don’t need anyhow, the news ain’t really news, it’s noisy, it tends to make me passive and even more sedentary & I decided in 1997 that if I was gonna do music, have a good family life, read books and be a Baha’i the way I think I should, something was gonna have to give! That was even before I got online….

I love PBS. It’s my FAVORITE thing to watch. Still, most of those things on PBS – they make you think. Deep thought kind of thinking and I do plenty of that already (just ask my family…..). Now reality tv – that’s what I call low-brow entertainment and when I wanna turn off my brain – which still goes about 300 mph most of the time – that’s where I go.  I love Netflix & Hulu; you can watch stuff with few or no commercials, and often you can watch stuff all in a row whenever it’s convenient. What could be better?

It can’t be just any old reality show either.  I don’t really have clear criteria; I just know it when I see it.  So I got hooked on Project Accessory last summer and so I’ve been watching the 10th season of Project Runway.

**********SPOILER AHEAD***********

The final episode of that cycle was aired this past week, and I was surfing around trying find out a bit more about the winner. I read a recap/review by Mondo that I enjoyed and I decided to respond in the comments section….which turned into a fairly long essay.  I thought you might enjoy reading it, so here it is, with some photos added.

Read Mondo Guerra’s Recap here

(He *did* say to tell him how we really feel in the comments….)

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YARN CRIMES: “When you see….”

Friends & neighbors,

in my long experience in knitting, crocheting, etc., there are a few words that almost always signal a yarn crime has taken place and another will take place if you follow this pattern or whatever to make that thing. I’m sharing my experience with you, gentle readers (all 5 of you), as a kind of public service. I think that a certain format might be useful. With a nod of thanks to Jeff Foxworthy, here goes!

Try saying this phrase out loud and fill in the blank with each word below.

“When you see the word ‘______’, you might commit a yarn crime.”

Got it? OK. And I would love for folks to give me some funny captions in the comments.

frilly

eyelash yarn

beer can

loopy

necklace

or bracelet

“So, you think that there’s a real market for D.I.Y. jewelry that looks like cat entrails huh?

capelet

designer

balloon

pom-pom

If you are:

  • not currently serving as a cheerleader
  • not going to a fancy dress party
  • not ‘pharmaceutically enhanced’
  • are potty trained
  • and can read

then pom poms are NOT for you.

headband

This is especially true if the words ‘easy’ or ‘beginner’ or ‘bulky’

appear anywhere in the description.

cute owl

If you have to tell people the owl is cute…it ISN’T.

….. and sometimes just the word ‘crochet’ can be enough.

______________________________________________________

There are those that go beyond this little word thing. I give you these as proof:

I mean this snake sock is ****beautifully made****….but WHY?!?!?!

OK, back to your life now. :o)

Post rescued: Draggin’, what’s going on and severe blog neglect

I recovered the post I was writing when the “CRASH! BANG!” happened.  It isn’t complete but I wanted you to have it anyway ‘cos I love you.

How are you?  I know; it’s been like for-evah!  Too busy, too busy and crazy-busy is what’s been happening with me.  And some other stuff too.  Since the husband & the chilluns are not here this evening (happens too rarely), I can share.  Here’s some in bullet point form:

  • I could really use a new computer keyboard. This one keeps on messing up and messing up. It’s hard enough to find time to write; even harder to find time to edit stoopid mistakes.
  • Automobile follies.  We keep our cars until they cannot be fixed. My fabulous Toyo is 15 years old and DH’s Saturn is 12 years old so they need some babying and there’s no $ to do it with….mainly because…
  • No. 1 Son has flunked out of college for the 3rd time AND his Dear Fiancee got royally screwed over by her new employer and so now does not have a job – so we are feeding them & paying their rent.  It could be worse…..but whatever cash there was after bills and such is now going to them.
  • RuPaul’s Drag Race season #4 has begun!  They are so funny and wonderful – FASCINATIN’! Several seriously wonderful queens….but I think Sharon Needles is my top fave.

You might wanna sit down first…

…because there is actual knitting content in this post! Amazing innit?  I know *I* feel dizzy, but that’s pretty usual for me.

First off – I did NOT make this sweater for the Force of Nature – a wonderful knitter in Massachusetts did it for me!  She did a fantabulous job- Her finishing work absolutely kicks my butt.

Ravelry project page

The Force of Nature was not terribly interested in having a good photo taken of herself in the sweater….::::sigh:::: No surprise there – she’s just turned thirteen years old a month ago (the same day the tornadoes came through!).

There are many more but I’ll spare you  all the drama…..  It will fit her for probably a couple of years and it’s machine washable.  Anisa, I thank you so much.

Next, we have a little crochet project that I finished just today – a steering wheel cover for Big Sarah. This was very very easy and I wonder why I’d never done this before.  Here’s the cover before I sewed it onto the steering wheel:

Ravelry project link

And after I put it onto the steering wheel:

No more sizzling fingers for me!

Now here are a few pics of the ENORMOUS socks I made for the Duke of Curl (he turned SIXTEEN years old last week.  He will have his driver’s license very soon.  I can’t even think about that or I’ll have to go lie down.).

Ravelry project link

They’ve been worn a lot and washed/dried at least twice and they look great.  The fit is not terrific, but I frogged these things at LEAST 4 times and I ain’t doing anymore.  Folks, this is tiny yarn knit tightly on on US size ZERO needles for size THIRTEEN feet.  I didn’t knit for a WHILE after I finished these – it was like knitting a sweater but not as much fun.  The colors are great tho’.

Last but not least, this scarf I’ve been procrastinating about for a year now.  It’s for one of my dearest friends. I will see her this weekend in Chicago – YAY!  I’m almost done with it – I may make another one but perhaps not out of sock yarn – that’s a LOT of d#$% stitches.

Ravelry project link

And I do think Boris makes a wonderful model……Natasha wanted in on the gig for some reason.

So very dashing!

Now the batteries are low in the camera, and I’m tryna get ready to go to a singing thing in Chicago this next weekend, so that’s it fer now; happy knitting to u all!

They always seem to commit yarn crimes…..

…over at Lion Brand Yarn. I *DO* give them some respect – the last few years, they’ve really tried to spruce up their game, and I DO notice. Heck I think I might actually make this for myself:

Really, they have tried HARD – coming up with new yarns that are not polyester, acrylic, nylon, but are made from fibers that came from plants and animals and feel good to the touch and everything. But they backslide all too often; some of the patterns for the Spring/Summer 2011 line makes me wanna holler at them – “knitta PLEASE!”

Exhibit A:

Even in the picture, on this PROFESSIONALLY knitted, modeled, styled and photographed scarf – the end squares are 2 different sizes and it just doesn’t look good overall, and this is the pattern support for their Organic Cotton yarn – of which this ugly thing takes 2 skeins.  The thing must weight a TON.

Exhibit B:

This is called a Knit Shawl. This was the BEST the stylist could do? Drop it on the floor and take a picture?  Sweet Sally Melville *I* can do better than this on my worst day with a tornado on the way…..

Exhibit C:

This is a FAKE Red Velvet cake made out of yarn.

Now I don’t know about you, my faithful readership (that has recently swelled to 16 and you’ve no idea how unreasonably huge the bubble of happy I got when I saw that!) – but I cannot TELL you the number of times I have wanted a fake red velvet cake made of yarn!  Especially one with O.D. green starfish and wilted daffodils attached by blood-red twig like things as decoration…

oh Wait a MINUTE! I *can* tell you EXACTLY you how often I’ve wanted a fake red velvet cake made of yarn: NEVER.  And I’m pretty sure that it’s gonna stay that way.

Exhibit D:

This is a back  scrubber.

I’m really glad they called it that because looking at it, I would have a very difficult time telling you what it was for.  I wish I was clever like some people are with captions, because I know there’s gotta be AT least 10 funny ones for this thing.

Exhibit E:

This is called “the Darwin Hat”.  If you are unfamiliar with the Darwin Awards, then I can’t really tell you why I think that name is so hilarious!  I mean, this model is a beautiful girl, photographs well obviously, and then I look at that hat and start giggling like a madwoman.  Is it me?  Maybe I need more sleep……

Exhibit F:

This is called a “COOZIE.”

THEY don’t even know what the hell it is.

Last, but certainly not least:

Exhibit G:

The official Lion Brand title of this thing is:

*****drum roll*****

Mother’s Day Crafted Necklace

I cannot make up stuff funnier than this item.

—–

If I’m telling the truth, none of these is really a patch on the last yarn crime I posted (yes, another one of theirs), but taken as a group, I think I can say these cross the line into the yarn crime area.

OK, ok – the cake could’ve made it all by itself.

I’d love to know if any of you have a good caption for these pictures – please do put them in the comments.

This blog pause has been brought to you by ……

…travel, eye exams, fabric and grompingness by Studmuffin. Oh and the choir.

Studmuffin objects to the fact that I call the Force of Nature’s seasonal baskets “Spring fertility ritual” baskets (which she has INSISTED on making for each of us for the last few years), and he has the NERVE to be offended – atheist that he is. I mean he was raised Catholic, so…. but please do tell: what do bunnies, chicks, lambs, eggs and candy have to do with the end of Lent and the Passion of the Christ? I would much rather solemnly celebrate Easter than all the rest of the spring fertility stuff that has stuck around from various ancient traditions…not that I’m hatin’ on the ancient traditions either. Oh well.

I love this picture.

Even WordPress has to be funny…..

The dashboard stats show this blog getting 10 times the number of hits than usual.

I guess it’s funny. I’m at a low point (seriously in need of sunshine – weatherman says tomorrow) and am not laughing at anything.   I didn’t get the things I needed to do today done at ALL.  I’ve even had 3 cups of hot chocolate and I’m still grumpy. Guess I need to go on youtube and look at videos of jumping baby goats and laughing babies to try to crawl out of my funk.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Thank goodness April 1st is almost OVER.




Do you like music?

I certainly hope so. Here’s the email I sent out to some specific people; I thought I’d let you non-specific folks have it too.

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(Sent at about 4 am on March 2nd)

Dear ones,

so March 2nd is the beginning of the Baha’i nineteen day fast from sunrise to sunset, and what I’m supposed to be doing is sleeping right now. But I’m not – I’d really like to be, but I can’t seem to sleep. Grrrr….. So. I am making a “mixtape”.

Now, mixtapes *used* to be actual cassette tapes made up of music along a theme…often by dj’s wanting to show off their skills. I’ve not got those kinds of mixing skills, but I do love music….so I’ve shared quite a few tapes over the years. Then I started doing them on the computer and burning CD “mixtapes” and mailing them off to friends all over. I think the last one was probably five or more years ago (“Divine Breezes”? Anyone remember?)

Now, I can still do them on the computer, but NOW all I have to do is put it up on Soundcloud and send you a link. It’s true – you’ll miss out on all the groovy graphics and clever liner notes…but ya get more music. I started thinking about this & had hoped to have this done about a week ago, but as is my usual these days, completely forgot about it until about 8 hours ago.

The first half is going up today; the second in a few days, followed by a complete track listing. Hope you like it. :o)

Click here to download : Spiritual Springtime part the one


Guest post – the “Ring Cycle”

I havna been very good about posting lately and me mum sent me a nice little story. I’ve done a wee bit ‘o editing and name-changing..so enjoy!

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OPENING DISCLAIMER: Since I am at heart a woman of character and practicality – not unlike my mother, her mother and her mother before her: those who wore cotton house dresses, orthopaedic-looking shoes and hair in a bun, I am quite content with mostly comfortable, occasionally stylish clothes. Although I, by some measure, have surpassed the “prematurely aged” look they maintained, I’ve always seen it as a little superficial when women around me would gush over what they expected in the way of glitzy and expensive gifts.
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“The RING Cycle” by my mother Elaine
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I cannot now remember which “old woman” in my family left me the ring with three, rather large fire opals* set up high on their elegant prongs. I think it was Great Aunt Nan from Middlebury, Vermont. I was in high school at the time, impressed with this special gift and somewhat mystified as to how I had been chosen for this particular honor. It was accompanied by a note with instructions: Elaine is to wear it, not put it into a box to save it or hide it away.

So, I wore it all the time and really liked it. Because of its high setting, it kept bumping into things; if one of the stones came out, and that happened several times,I would glue it back in. One time when I was in New York City, an hour of sweaty uncertainty, manipulating the tip of a wire coat hanger down a sink drain, brought it out of harm’s way.
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*The opal is my birthstone, (October); a fire opal is multi-faceted, sparkles iridescently and used to be mined primarily in Mexico.
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Plymouth, NH, 1966-67: My husband and I moved with our baby boy, from a second-story apartment on Merrill St. (cold and drafty), to a larger, ground-level one on Highland St. (warmer). Since my opal ring kept coming in contact with moving furniture and stuff, I gave it to Dale for safe-keeping that day.

After trips back and forth in somebody’s truck, we came to rest with our furniture and started getting settled. I asked Dale for the ring. His hand dove into his pants pocket and he suddenly started checking all his pockets, emptying out change, keys, everything. He undressed and shook off all his clothes. The ring was not there! A horrible look came over his face, he felt terrible and boy, was I angry! How could he have been so careless?

He back-tracked several times from Highland St. to Merrill St., talked with “Pippi Longstocking” our former landlady, asking her if she had seen it and please, to keep an eye out for it. He thoroughly searched our old apartment: no sight of it anywhere. We searched the new place. No luck. He wore a hang-dog look on his face while I made quite a few barbed and sarcastic remarks about his judgment, his observation skills and a whole lot of other things!

I earnestly prayed that the lingering anger and disappointment would just leave me. Reading the Baha’i Scriptures one day, these words fairly leapt off the page:

“Thou dost wish for gold and I desire thy freedom from it.  Thou thinkest thyself rich in its possession, and I recognize thy wealth in thy sanctity therefrom…Should prosperity befall thee, rejoice not and should abasement come upon thee, grieve not, for both shall pass away and be no more. — Baha’u’llah”.

Then it was talking about forgiving instantly and completely.  Of course, I had read all these words before. But this time was different. The anger and sadness left me and never came back.  I told my husband I completely forgave him and to simply forget about it, not dwell upon it.  This is not to say that I don’t have to continue reading sound spiritual advice and keep struggling every day to put it into practice – I do.

A few years later, my Father-in-law, “Bumpa” bought me quite an expensive opal ring. But since I’m not really a “ring person”, and always seemed to have my hands in dishwater, gardening soil or changing diapers, I gently asked him if he would mind if I declined. We were also having issues at the time with “Bumpa” wanting to buy us everything, and to pay most of our bills.  Some have said, “Well, that’s the kind of problem I want to have!” But, really they don’t. And I knew that Dale still felt badly about the ring and couldn’t possibly afford to buy one like that. So “Bumpa” took it back and gave me some clothes instead.
black fire opal en cabochon

Roanoke, Va., February 14, 2011: Many years have passed; Valentine’s Days have come and gone.  It isn’t really an important day for us, but we always utter the perfunctory greeting. Sometimes we’ll give each other something, sometimes not. Usually a card suffices.

I must admit that, over the years, Dale has shown more consideration in this than I: he would get me a tube of oil paint or a little plant, something he knew I wanted. One time I gave my husband one of those free cards, a glossy picture with red roses, that comes from the American Heart Association -that was kinda cheap.  On another occasion, I was in a local supermarket, spotted the $19.99 special on a dozen red roses and got them for him as an impulse purchase. He was very surprised and pleased, said no one had every given him roses like that!

This Monday, my husband handed me a little embossed ivory box along with an assortment of chocolates, his eyes alight with anticipation. I opened the box and inside, hanging from a white gold chain was a lovely fire opal pendant. I burst into tears and haven’t taken it off since.

Elaine
opal cabochon


O SON OF BEING!
Busy not thyself with this world, for with fire We test the gold, and with gold We test Our servants.
— Baha’u’llah
 

A little silliness for Feb. 2


Since Groundhog Day is an incredibly silly holiday, here’s a bit of silliness for you (knitted and otherwise):

I've said it before - just because you CAN make something does not mean that you should.

Silly but way CUTE.




I do not understand knitted food at all.

I actually think this is really cool because1: there are eyebrows and 2: the yarn GLOWS IN THE DARK!

 

High fashion knitting....just isn't for me.

 

Hmm. This is too serious for me. I would've used the $ for the tat for yarn.....

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And if you’re in need of more laughs for Groundhog Day, head on over to www.cakewrecks.com

Carry on.