So I was reading an article over at Fab Over Fifty by a woman ho lies about her age to everyone, including her daughter. I wrote a comment that turned into a short essay….so I thought I’d post it for your enjoyment.
You can read the original article here: It’s My Birth Date & I’ll Lie If I Want To….
… here is my reply:
I think Ramona can lie about her age – that’s her business. Lying to her daughter – well, that’s her business too. Neither of the above are the same as my choices. Since Ramona has written about this, she has opened herself up to comments – a slew of which seem very harsh to me.
I LOVE how old I am – 44. I have always looked older than my age – which was really groovy until I was about 19. Still, I had a misdiagnosed heart ailment that nearly took my life at 40. The cardiologist told me they don’t usually find what was wrong with me til the autopsy…. I thank God everyday for the chance to see my kids grow up. Last weekend, I sang at the funeral for my dear sisterfriend Tracey who won’t get to do that; she was only 5 weeks older than I.
Anyway, my mother has always looked quite young and I have gotten really sick & tired of the thousands of times I was told we could be sisters. Made her feel great (though she is not vain at all) which is good, but I’ve never told her it always makes me feel like crap on a stick. I look lots like my dad who, in his 70’s, more & more resembles a troll. :o) Still, I am grateful that though I’m no great beauty, I am not disfigured either. As a musician, great beauty or disfigurement would be yet another obstacle to overcome.
Aging is a process of detachment for me, so for me, lying about my age would get in the way of that and – more importantly, get in the way of what I am trying to teach my kids (ages 24, 17 and almost 15): that your appearance is not very important in the grande scheme of things; your character is far more important. Of course you want to be clean and look well but not to become the plaything of fashion.
My daughter, the almost 15 year old, asked me about 6 months ago to stop coloring my hair BECAUSE she loves my silver. I’ve got a lot of it and I earned every one of those suckers. I have stopped coloring my hair because there is SO little I can do to please her these days (ages 14 & 15 for me were no joke).
I guess as long as there is some perceived benefit to being young, people will lie about it….but I wish they wouldn’t.