I’m getting that feeling……

…like I want to go online and buy more yarn. STOP me before I shop again!

I have been trying to tidy up the “yarn corner” in the bedroom since it’s been so bad, and I frogged a couple of things, and untangled some other things and am collecting up various needles/stitch markers/knit notions. I’ve even finished something (the Duke of Curl’s socks) and taken up 2 WIPs that have been languishing for far too long. It’s a good feeling – this kind of virtuous happiness that I’ m tidying up and not starting new things….but THEN! That little voice comes into my brain and says, “go check out that wonderful yarn you heard about…..you want some of that don’t you?” Or “The XYZ yarn company is having a sale…you could get a sweater’s worth for not much money and they have such lovely colors….”

Those things are all true, but I-HAVE-TOO-MUCH-YARN. There. I’ve admitted it. And as well as too much yarn, I have:

Essentially too much stuff all the way around. I am realizing that I, like so many, have fallen into the trap of materialism; that I have a powerful emotional response to the things I have and when I am feeling sick/down/unhappy/angry/overburdened/bored/insert-your-negative-emotion-here, I want to go 1) out and buy something or 2)online and buy something and I will 3) feel some kind of positive release once I have done so.

I realize I do the same thing with food (which is why I am so FAT).

It’s taken me a long time to realize that I really do behave this way, so I imagine it’s gonna take me a while to dig meself out of it, but that’s ok – first, one has to know what the problem is! Now my stash of yarn…or anything really, isn’t huge compared to others, and I do take a little comfort from that (check out this MONSTER yarn stash!). But my house is not very big and it isn’t getting any bigger, plus I have these principles that I really do try to live by. Here’s a taste:

Love is the fundamental principle of God’s purpose for man, and He has commanded us to love each other even as He loves us. All these discords and disputes which we hear on all sides only tend to increase materiality.

The world for the most part is sunk in materialism, and the blessings of the Holy Spirit are ignored. There is so little real spiritual feeling, and the progress of the world is for the most part merely material. Men are becoming like unto beasts that perish, for we know that they have no spiritual feeling — they do not turn to God, they have no religion! These things belong to man alone, and if he is without them he is a prisoner of nature, and no whit better than an animal.

(Abdu’l-Baha, Paris Talks, p. 122)

My understanding is NOT that the stuff is bad; it is our relationship to it that determines whether it has a good or bad effect upon us. DARN IT! Time for the yarn/book/CD/fabric/food diet…which, though I know it’s gonna be good to me and for me, at the moment it sounds like no fun AT ALL. Poopies.

If I’m really honest…I’m looking forward to backsliding.


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