I AM Farkus Chickendunkin Rhinohump!

Don’t laugh until you find out what your new name is….

I’m lacking writing inspiration.  I thought this was worth a chuckle, so here is your dose of humor:

A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.

B. Once you have your new name, tell all your friends.  It would be fun if you refuse to answer to anything but yer new name….

<<The following is excerpted from a children’s book, Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants by Dav Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names…>>


1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farkus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = pickle
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = potty
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r= doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, John Wayne’s new name would be “Farkus Dippinhiney”,  Halle Berry would be known as “Boobie Chickendoodle” , and George Clooney would be “Fluffy Picklebrains”

I have three names so I did #2 & 3 twice for my 2 last names.  So tell me in the comments: WHO ARE YOU?

And do remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day.* Put more laughter in your day!


1. Big Laugh, 2. Having fun, 3. Niños del pueblo Shan, Birmania…, 4. Did I say something funny?, 5. two girls, 6. 199909 034A Saigon What, 7. Breaking a Laugh – Tarija, Bolivia, 8. seven fingers, and a tongue, 9. Kids Bhangra, 10. A happy run. Karnataka, India, 11. Class Clown, 12. WQPGarma05, 13. Not-so-little elf, 14. Lieutenant Paramjeet Singh, 15. Muslim Girls On Train To Southern Thailand., 16. Novice monk & dog, 17. msnavnorthmsnav01, 18. 2005 Powwow, 19. Trans-Pecos Powwow 2008, 20. The Power of a Smile, 21. Untitled, 22. Laughing Men, 23. Dougie and Killer, 24. the colours, 25. shooting the laugh.., 26. Laughing Young Bedouin Woman, Israel, 27. laughing policeman, 28. Gayle Ann, 29. Bolivians laughing, 30. Laugh, 31. laughing., 32. Happy Farmers, Myanmar, 33. Pennyless happyness, 34. DenverHomeless_002, 35. IMG_6504, 36. NorthAmericanIndianDays_021

You can see more smiles in this slideshow here. 🙂

View slideshow
*I have NO IDEA where this information comes from, so I’m just mindlessly repeating it.



  1. I don’t know whether it is true or not, but I prefer it to a supposed statistic someone else spouted the other day. I could only respond with, “80% of all statistics are made up.” Trust me, that was taking the high road.

    Also, hey–be well and see me. Also, I realize writing that is probably the quickest way to making me the one to be unable to make it Wednesday.

  2. Well I won’t be there again this Wednesday, even tho’ I’m finally getting better. Would you mind if I call you “Dorfus Dippinchunks”? Or would that be too forward of me?

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