The cardiac coffee grinder test

So here goes:

my fabulous and wonderful Knitters’ Coffeeswap 3 partner, Jennifer, sent me all kinds of wonderful stuff: coffee, coffee beans, a coffee mug, Noro Silk Garden yarn – just a fabulous haul of swag it was!  And a little after the main package arrived, she sent me:

A COFFEE GRINDER

This woman is a saint I tell you!  Thank you a million times over.

On the day the coffee grinder arrived, I was not at home but my homeschooled 12 year old, Ian, was.  Yes, it is AGAINST the LAW in Alabama to leave a school age child unsupervised during school hours; I was at the Heart Center having a cardiac stress test.  I’d asked Ian if he wished to come and bring a book, but he said no way, so I left him at home by himself.

For those of you who’ve not had the pleasure of undergoing this test; let me tell you about it.  You cannot have caffiene of any kind for 24 hours before the test and there’s other things yer supposed to do.  When you get to the testing place, you take off yer top and are given a way drafty hosptial gown to wear, then they stick an IV in yer arm.  Next, you get all the little sticky sensor pads all over yer chest, get hooked up to the machine and then you get on the treadmill.  Every 3 minutes the treadmill gets steeper and goes faster – all to get yer heart rate up.  When you are at the correct heart rate for the correct time, the attendant shoots radioactive dye into the IV which is them supposed to go into yer blood and wind up in yer heart.  You slow down on the treadmill, they take off most of the sensors, give you a snack and some water, and you go sit in another waiting room for about 40 minutes.  Then you get to go to another room where they strap you to a table with yer arms over yer head and take pictures for another 20 minutes.  Then you can go home. At least that’s how it’s supposed to go.

When they shot the dye into my IV, it stayed in my arm somehow instead of going into my bloodstream.  I could feel it burn and said so, and I thought the nurse practitioner was gonna have kittens!  She was SO upset (and looking for someone to blame unfortunately).  I told her I knew the IV was in right – it was just one of those things.  SO we rescheduled.

I had one errand to run – I’ve been doing all these swaps, and I had several packages ready for the Post Office and in the van with me, so I went and stood in line  at the Post Office.  It occurred to me that I should check on Ian and turn my cell phone back on.  Once it was back on (you have to turn it off at the Heart Center), I saw there had been a call from home.  I thought that was odd because Ian is not really a “phone person” , doesn’t usually call – especially when he’s at home by himself and in complete control of all tv remotes!  I saw that he had called about 15 minutes before I turned my phone on.  So I called him…..

He answered the phone, sobbing almost hysterically.  He told me that the letter carrier had brought the mail, including the package with the coffee grinder in it.  He knew that it was coming soon – Jennifer had told me to expect it.  This boy went and *opened my package* that was addressed to me (this is a BIG sin in my family of origin!), and of course wanted to…….

try it out.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr…..

Of course he had to find something to grind up.  What do we have a lot of?  Crushed red pepper flakes.  So he dumped those in and ground them up.  Of course he knew he had to clean it because I was coming home soon probably and he could tell me a story about how he just wanted to look at it or something.  So my darling middle child started blowing into the grinder chamber to remove the powder and some got –
INTO HIS EYE.  But of course.

He’d tried to wash it out, but his eye was swollen shut.   SO I told him to jump into a cool shower, direct the spray onto his face and stay there til I got home – my packages did not get mailed that day!

Epilogue:  His eye is fine; the coffee grinder is fine, and I did not punish him for it because I felt that 15 minutes with groung up hot peppers in yer eye is punishment enough.

Just another day at Chez Oney .  <<sigh>>

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One comment

  1. Oh Helen! I just went through every blog reading emotion possible!
    I went from Awwwww!!!!!! (I’m a saint!) , to OH NO (no coffee)Ohhhhh (the cardiac test) to OH NO! (he opened the mail) to HAHA (he had to try it) to OHHHH NOOOOO it got in his eyes!

    I do know for a fact that you have two pounds of coffee beans in the house 😉 He could have tried those 🙂 Just make sure that you clean it really really well 🙂 Just fyi, I use a scoop for my beans that’s 1/8 of a cup (it’s called a ‘coffee scoop’ in the utensils aisle) and fill it level with beans for two cups of coffee, ground pretty fine).

    I do realize that you had an eventful day but you did see that there was a little wallet there too right 🙂

    It was a great swap and I use ‘your’ cup everyday 🙂

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